He asked me to be his girlfriend... Dating in China

So I promised another post, updating you guys on my dating life in China and to be honest, it has been a little crazy. I received many comments on my last video about how I was never going to find a boyfriend or anyone who found me attractive in China. They made me chuckle because I can now tell you guys the crazy happenings that have been going on in my life.

A few days after that last video, I met a boy. He was smart, cute, kind, all of the things that you look for in a nice guy, plus he spoke English, which is a massive bonus! After having hundreds of conversations that led nowhere, I was surprised when he asked me out to dinner and followed through. We ate together, and he took me to KTV… One thing I have learnt about dating in both Japan and China is that people here really love a sing song. If you know me, you know that I also love a power ballad, so I was happy.

I think with all dates, you get a feeling of trepidation afterwards. The feeling of “will he call me back? Will he want to see me again?” Well this boy did, so much so that he agreed to come to a halloween party with me, dressed up in matching costumes and all.

At this point I was convinced that I liked this boy. I was so happy. We could have intelligent conversations together, we could joke around, it was just fun. And then, to top it all off, he asked me to be his girlfriend.

I was elated. But now, in hindsight, it was too soon, it was too quick. But that appears to be a common theme in China, the boys ask you quick.

So, he started staying over more, but there was no funny business happening so I was just so grateful that I had met someone who respected me. But then, quickly, the dates stopped happening and he just wanted to sleep.

It felt like within a click of a finger, he had become a different person. He would give me a long lecture about his health if I wouldn’t let him sleep at 9PM, he would be angry if I asked him to come to dinner with me, he just wanted to sleep all the time.

So, after a week or so, I ended it. I screamed at him, through his bag out in the hallway and called it a day. Even now, I think about what was the problem. What happened to him to change so drastically.

Fast forward a couple of weeks and your girl has to get back out there again. Now this time, the boy was very doting and sweet and although his english wasn’t good, I thought I would give him a chance. But from the minute that I saw him (we met online) I knew that there was no attraction there. I have felt this and tried to force it before and it turned out horribly. So, I was straight forward and honest with him - I just wanted to be friends.

To add to the lack of spark, he also couldn’t speak hardly any English. This really causes friction, even in a friendship and I found it very difficult having to use a translator to talk.

One night, I was feeling really exhausted after work and he asked me if he could see me. I remembered him offering to bring one of his cats over before, for me to pet, because he knew how much I loved cats.

So, he brings two cats with him, and I am delighted. But then he pulls out the massive bag of kitty litter and the bag of cat food. My mind was racing and I realised that he was giving me these cats. I asked him and he confirmed my suspicions. I couldn’t believe it. This is the kind of stuff that just doesn’t happen in the west.

I quickly told him that I would not be able to look after two cats, and decided to keep one. I was very grateful and thanked him, because I had wanted a cat, but morally disagreed with buying one.

Then, with a cat purring on my lap, he asked me to be his girlfriend.

I said no.

I never felt any guilt about this decision and he was fairly kind about it. He took me out the next day to buy supplies for my new cat. But now, a week or so later, I think he decided that friends was not enough for him, as he has become unresponsive to my messages.

I have the cat, so I am ok.

I think these stories really show how quickly boys in China will move in a relationship and how that can make any potential for romance non-existent. I think the period of dating before they ask you to be their girlfriend is so important and a real opportunity for romance and wooing.

I will keep searching and keep you guys updated on my stories in the future! Make sure to check out my Instagram and Twitter.

And until next time,
Stay Peachy,
Paige xx

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