Oh, How much has changed in 5 Years

So, we’re taking a break from dating posts, to talk about life. Now, don’t worry, this is not a massively deep post about aspirations or the like. This is just me having a little ramble about how my goals and plans have changed in the last 5 years.

I am turning 20 in a few months and I really do find it shocking how my life plans have changed, and how much I myself have changed. I know if my 15 year old self were to see me now, she would be pretty disappointed.
Not because I am a disappointment. But because I am completely different from the person I was at that age and I have a lot of plans and dreams and aspirations that my younger self would not enjoy in the slightest.

To give you an idea of what 15 year old Paige was like, she believed that marriage was the route of evil, men were evil, extreme feminism was the only way forward and having your own children was irresponsible compared to adoption. She had plans to never be married, travel, work in some miscellaneous job and adopt a child on her own.

Pretty shocking right? I am in no way saying that any of these things are wrong. They are not. But, I was a rather annoying person to be around and watching a movie with me was torture, because I would have to drop a line like “well it’s good, but where are the women and POC?” every single time.

Looking back, I genuinely believe that Tumblr had a massive part to play in all of this and since being less and less involved with Tumblr, I truly feel like my mind has been opened and I have more of my own opinions.

It was hard, in the wave of being “woke” as a teenager. It was as if I took every opinion that tumblr wanted me to have a multiplied it by 100. Also, there was a shared belief that to be a young artist, you had to be a little different and as a white straight girl, I wasn’t really ticking that box.
But now, I feel I have returned to what I wanted as a child. I want a husband and a family. I want children, maybe by adoption, but quite possibly not. It has taken me a long time to understand that wanting my own children and a marriage is not something to be sneered at, just like wanting to be single and adopt isn’t either.

I found myself lost in a PC mess that I couldn’t quite get out of, out of fear that I would be judged by my peers. But I have found now that maybe my uniqueness is in my traditional nature, my want to have a family and live outside of the city one day. To not be travelling all the time with no base.
So, in 5 years, I have done quite the 180. I believe that I now care less about what other people think and I can share my opinions, wants and aspirations without caring if I will be judged.

Just like I never wanted to be forced into the traditional way of life when I was 15, I now do not want to be forced into the new age form of the perfect life. But this time, it is not people on tumblr telling me, it is my own personal reflection that has gotten me to this point.

Please share with me your personal journeys.

Check me out over on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/peachpaaige/

Until next time,
Stay Peachy,
Paige x

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