Dating as a Fat Girl PT2

So, I’m back again to shine a little light on how dating as a fat girl can differ from other dating experiences. We have already covered not feeling good enough for the guys you find attractive here. Now, let’s move on to the guys who are too into it, the BBW lovers.

If you were to look through my phone, you would find a plethora of unanswered messages going something like “Ur so thicc” or “Wow BBW”. How, for the leymen out there, a BBW is a Big Beautiful Woman, which seems like it would be lovely. However, the term originates from porn, which makes it all very uncomfortable, and also, using the word “big” to woo anyone is just a bad idea.

I always try to explain it in this way: would you call a single mum a MILF? Most people say that that would be creepy, so why should it be any different when it comes to BBW?

It is upsetting when you are talking to a guy, and you are getting on and they drop one of these terms, like: “BTW you’re thicc af” and for me, that kills any sort of chemistry stone dead.

People have said to me, “But it’s nice, surely you want to be complimented!” And yes, a compliment is nice, but mentioning specifically my figure or my size makes me think that you only care about my body. It sends a signal out that I am only a physical creature to you. But past that, if we are talking, I guess that you find me attractive, I do not need the specific confirmation.

Also, for us late nineties girls and younger, being “Big” in any way was awful. You didn’t want to be big or fat, and thicc didn’t even exist. Like I said in my previous post, if you were fat, you were bullied, more times than not.

So, when a guy messages you saying how big you are and how much he loves that you’re not skinny, we can feel a kind of mixed message. Because our brains have been trained to believe that being skinny was the goal and suddenly being big is good and for me, it is really really confusing and I end up never really speaking to that guy again.

I think also, for me, because I am a very traditional gal, I don’t need you to tell me that I am big, I know I am. I want you to make me feel like my size doesn’t matter, not that it is the only thing you like about me.

I feel some guys do it for brownie points, to try and say “I don’t mind that you’re fat” But that suggests that it would be an issue in the first place.

I believe that some things are better left unmentioned, especially while talking through texts. If you want to admire my body in a respectful way when we’re together, I have no issue with that. But please, keep your feelings about my body under wraps until we get there. Don’t worry, I won’t be offended, if anything, it will be a breath of fresh air for someone to be interested in me as a person, instead of a slightly larger meat bag than everyone else.

Please let me know if this resonated with you in any way.

Until next time,
Stay peachy,
Paige x

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