5 Reasons Why I Am Ditching Online Dating

So I am single again. And despite feeling rather content on my own. I feel the pressure to “get back out there” so to say. I feel if I am not open then I will miss an opportunity. But that is a whole other subject, for another time.

It seems the only way to date nowadays is online. Especially for that wondrous 18-24 demographic. It seems that whenever you suggest dating to someone of our age, they suggest some app or other.

Over my years of dating (not that there have been that many of them) I have tried these dating apps, from the infamous Tinder to some less known websites. But I have never really found them to work. I got one short term relationship out of Tinder. But apart from that, I have been very unsuccessful.

For a while, I felt like a failure. It seems that online dating is hardwired into our generation, and it should be something that we should just be able to do. But I found it hard, juggling conversations and waiting hours for replies. But with an epiphany, I realised that I was not the problem.

It is not so much that the dating apps are the problem either. I have plenty of friends that they have worked for. But it seems that me and POF just don’t go together.

So, I have given it up. No more saving numbers in my phone, just to delete them the next day. I am going organic and these are the reasons why.

1. “Wanting to date, but nothing serious”

Now this option on dating websites annoys me beyond belief. It is so vague that I find myself ignoring accounts that include it. I am a direct person and casual dating has never been my thing. It is not that I disagree with casual dating, if you can do it, that’s great! But I can not have another conversation with a person who has no idea what they want.

2. Catfish ahead!

Ever since the MTV show became so popular, dating app users have become more weary, myself included. I couldn’t help the skepticism I felt when someone just a little too attractive popped up in my messages. Of course, a model could be interested in me (that would be my lucky day.) But once you have been burned with the catfish poker once, you’re never quite as trusting.

3. The awkward first date.

I do not think that there is a worse feeling in the world than waiting for an online date. Wondering if you’re going to be stood up, fearing that they will look nothing like their picture. Whether their 6 ft will have become 5ft 5. And then the awkward moment when you think you see them and you are messaging them, whilst approaching them. The awkward “hello” and hug. I can not do that again. It might just have been me. But I am treating myself by never doing that again.

4. Ghosting.

Now I know that ghosting can happen in any conversation, whether it be online or over text. But there seems to be something about dating apps that lends itself to ghosting. You ask a guy what his hobbies are and it is as if you have asked him to marry you. I would prefer someone saying to me that they don’t want to talk anymore, rather than leaving me on “seen”. I know that I am still vulnerable to ghosting in the future. But I hope that I have lessened the chances by coming off of dating apps.

5. Time wasters.

Now I would like to preface this thought with a disclaimer that I know that not all guys on dating websites are time wasters and I am sure that there are plenty of girls that waste time too. But I cannot count the amount of times that I have been talking to a guy and then he randomly pops in a sexual comment that has no context in the situation. Or you are snap chatting and he sends you an unsolicited nude. But I think the worst are the guys who you have a lovely conversation with, but it never goes anywhere. You talk about music and movies and hobbies and then he says “I’ve got to go, I’ll talk to you later.” and you never hear from him again. You message him and get ghosted. I can not do this anymore, because it has made me so skeptical of the men on these sights, waiting for him to send a dick pick or leave.

So those are my reasons. Once again, I am sure that there are many wonderful reasons to use dating apps. But the cons out weigh the pros for me. So I am going organic. I am logging off and focussing on myself. If a man comes into my life then he will. But until then, it is rom coms and self improvement for me.

Tell me, do you use dating apps? How do you find them and would you ever be tempted to ditch them for good?

Stay peachy,

Paige x

No comments